you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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