I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize