I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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