i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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