I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
