I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
