she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
