I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
