so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
