dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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