If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
