There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
