Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
