so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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