so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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