I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
