I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
