her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
