Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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