ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
