one two three fourrrrnication!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
