No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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