I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
