I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
