Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
