He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
