you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
