Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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