She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
