I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
