woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
