I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This is classic penis vs brain.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
