My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
