i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
