Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
