I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
