Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
