I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
