Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
