its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
