i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
