better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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