I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
