i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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