No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
smell my finger.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
