i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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