Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
