That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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