Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
