I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
