oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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