she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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