the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
