I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
