watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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