So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
