I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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