But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
