Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize