she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
