and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
