im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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