just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize