I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
