Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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