i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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