Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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